Who Am I? Understanding Identity in Dementia Care with Evolve Care Academy

Walking into the Identity Training at Evolve Care Academy, I’ll admit, I felt like a fish out of water. I’m not a carer or a healthcare professional; I work in marketing for Evolve Care Group, honouring life stories, connecting with people, giving a voice to the people and stories that make up our community. But to do that authentically, I need to understand the roles that carers and health care practitioners play in our homes. Carers are at the heart of daily life, supporting family members with personal care, meals, mobility, and the continuation of the life they know. Entering the training room, surrounded by those with experience, I was filled with anticipation and eager to step outside my comfort zone and embrace the learning ahead.

At the doorway, a curtain stood in place, giving the feeling of a stage waiting for its first act. Just beyond it a mirror with the word ‘Identity’ stood, a striking reminder of the theme that would carry us through the day. At the front, five characters were positioned in a theatre-style set-up, immediately capturing your attention as you entered, almost as if waiting to step into a performance. We sat in groups of ten, each place neatly set with a booklet and pen. There was a seriousness in the air, an understanding that what we were about to explore was important. Eve Carder, Evolves Clinical Director, began the session with three deceptively simple questions: “Who am I? Who are you? Who is the person sat next to you?” At first, they seemed light, almost playful, but the weight of them quickly settled in as she continued.

“Everyone has a story, everyone’s story is different, unique and personal; Life itself is journey, a journey that has many twists and turns. We all have feelings; we all have logic and reasoning; there are times for us as humans, both become impaired. To feel as though you've stopped being a person, lost your identity, your comfort, your sense of belonging - is indeed one of the most frightening places a person can find themselves. And yet, this is the reality many people living with dementia or other cognitive conditions face. What makes it even more heart breaking

is when society, systems, or teams unintentionally reinforce that loss by focusing only on the problems a person has rather than the person.”

Her words made me pause. I felt a lump in my throat realising how often I take for granted the simple things that make me who I am and how devastating it would be to have those pieces stripped away. That’s why identity matters so much in dementia care.

It was during this opening that Eve also introduced us to the five characters waiting for us around the room. Each one, she explained, would play a role throughout the day in helping us explore identity in a different perspective.

Then, with a quick smile, Eve lightened the mood. She joked that this year’s connections training would feel different from those that had come before. It would be a very interactive day. It wasn’t just about learning concepts, it was about engaging with one another, having fun, and discovering how understanding ourselves better could help us connect more deeply with others. The room shifted; shoulders loosened, people laughed. We were told to open our booklets, pens at the ready, as Eve explained how the day would unfold.

Understanding Identity and Emotional Intelligence

She then moved us into the theme of Understanding Identity and Emotional Intelligence. Eve spoke about Kitwood’s Flower, a well-known model in dementia care that highlights the psychological needs of people living with the condition. But she also introduced us to another model, this one focused on the components that make up our sense of self. It asked us to think about what shapes who we are: our self-image, self-confidence, self-identity, self-construct, and self-esteem.

Seeing it laid out like that made me realise how many layers there are to something we often take for granted. To bring it to life, we were asked to think about the kinds of questions we might ask someone if we wanted to truly understand their identity. What would we want to know? Where would we begin? It was a powerful reminder that identity isn’t one thing, it’s a collection of many parts, and unless we ask the right questions, we may never really see the full picture.

From there, we moved on to creating our own Emotional Intelligence CV, essentially, asking ourselves: what makes me, me? Eve was brave enough to share hers with us first, which felt like such a personal and vulnerable thing to do. Without that example, I think I would have really struggled to know where to begin. On the surface it sounds simple, but I found myself wondering why it felt so hard to write down things I know to be true about myself. What really makes up who we are? Sometimes it’s easier to rely on others to tell you that you are kind, or patient, or resilient. Putting it in your own words felt different. Almost uncomfortable. And yet, if anyone knows my values, traits, emotions, and life experiences best, it’s me. So why was it so difficult to capture on a piece of paper?

To add, we were also asked to list the objects that represent us. I wrote down my photo albums, my jewellery, my clothes. But even then, I wondered if someone only had these things in front of them, would they really know who I am? Would they read the notes I scribble behind photos, or would they just see the images on the surface? Without deeper exploration, they offer only a partial picture. It left me thinking about how often people enter care with very little documented about them beyond a date of birth. How much would be missed if we stopped there? Whilst half of us worked on the exercise, the other half rotated around the five characters at the front of the room, jotting down what we noticed about them and what they could mean. Then we swapped, so everyone had the chance to both reflect on themselves and look more closely at others.

Asking Better Questions

Afterwards, Eve guided us into a new exercise. She brought our attention back to the five characters around the room and asked whether, during our first visit with them, we’d felt we’d had enough time. She had purposefully kept that first encounter brief, a way of showing us how much can be missed when we rush, and how important it is to slow down and give each moment the attention it deserves. From there, she divided the room in half again. One half were given a list of fifty questions, each group focusing on one character and digging deeper into their identities. The rest of were tasked with something more creative, making posters about the family members we support. The idea was to create an ‘identity board’ for them, capturing who they are beyond just their needs. Tables were scattered with pens, glue, and magazines, ready for us to cut out words and images that represented their lives and personalities. It was a chance to think differently, to build a picture of a person in a way that was visual, expressive, and personal.

Whilst some worked on their identity boards, I was assigned to “Allan”, a man living with Parkinson’s who had once led a very active life and deeply loved his family. As I approached, someone was already sat in his place, stepping into his role so that we could engage with him more directly. We were told that Allan had capacity and could answer questions, so with our list of fifty prompts, we began to explore. We looked at the items connected to him, piecing together parts of his story. The difference was astonishing. With the right prompts, a much richer, more personal picture began to emerge.

It showed me how powerful genuine curiosity can be when building relationships in care. Ask the right questions, and suddenly their identity, values, and passions begin to unfold.

What I Took Away

By the end of the day, I felt different. I walked in nervous, unsure if I belonged. I walked out with knowledge, confidence, and a much deeper understanding of why identity is at the heart of care. For me, it reminded me that behind every name, there’s a whole person with a story worth telling. And if I can carry that with me into my role, then I know I’ll not only be a better at my role in marketing, but also a better listener, storyteller, and human being.

For the families who place their trust in us, this is of immeasurable importance. Handing over the care of a loved one requires courage, and it is our responsibility to ensure that their identity is seen, respected, and cherished.

Identity is what makes us who we are. Care is about never letting that be forgotten.

To read more about Identity in care visit Issue #1 | Identity – Connections